you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
