Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize