i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
