Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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