saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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