Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
