Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
