she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
she woke up with a sticky ear
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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