i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
