so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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