Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
