nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
