I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
