Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
