I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
