Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
