I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's always time for handjobs
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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