Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She's JV to your varsity
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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