Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
