as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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