She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize