3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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