ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
