I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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