The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
