dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
