i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
