how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
