Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Life is so much better after having sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
