She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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