He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
