is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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