Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
