Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
