It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
