the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize