I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize