Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Randomize
