3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
