Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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