I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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