My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
