To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
