But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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