I think I died a long time ago.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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