WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
