bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
