You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
