The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
