Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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