Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
