So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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