You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
