I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Green mimosas i think yes
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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