It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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