if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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