I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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