You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
