Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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