Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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