Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
