Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
