Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
