I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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