Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
