don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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