what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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