if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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