office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I love you.
Bad choice
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
