Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
