Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In other news, I just burned my penis
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
