I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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