direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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