She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize