Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
