the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
