I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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