I swear she didn't look like that last week.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
